Life Update

I just read Kj's blog and coincidentally I just started reading The Pillars of the Earth today. I'm only about 50 pages into it and it's a much different book than I thought it would be, so far so great! It's so good to be diving into a new book.

I recently read The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski. This book is about a deaf boy and his love and silent communication with his dogs and his communication with those around him. It is a MUST read.

Jesse has not worked since just before Thanksgiving. Work in painting is always slow this time of year. I am amazed that we have been able to manage as well as we have. He worked on a project last weekend painting a mural at the medical center where his mom works. He needs to go back this weekend to finish it.

We got snow here yesterday, it's gone now, but it's supposed to snow again this weekend. :( NO! I say, "Go away snow." You would think that growing up in a place that got a ton of snow that I actually wouldn't mind the snow. I don't mind it as long as I don't have to drive in it. Luckily, I have been taking mass transit to work since October. Not only have I saved on gas, but I've saved on parking as well. I don't mind taking the bus so much, the bus pass is free through my employer.

Hope everyone is staying warm!

And the memories live on...

Yesterday I went to an 80's costume party. It is amazing to see that some of the things we wore back then can still be found in stores, i.e. leg warmers and scrunchies. I didn't do the typical 80's attire but instead decided to dress as one of the prop girls from Robert Palmer's music video "Addicted to Love." Some people knew who I was, some didn't get it, which I figured would happen. There was also a karaoke machine with 70's and 80's music, lots of "jungle juice" and beer, some Twister going on, Footloose and Flashdance movies playing. It was way, way fun. It is cool to relive that God-awful era. How did America get away with such awful fashion? What were we thinking?

Friends, Family and Children

I think sometimes I feel insecure with friends. If it's me and at least two other people, I feel like the third wheel. I feel like I might as well be invisible because it's the others who are having fun without me. I kind of think it's because I'm too serious, it's hard for me to loosen up and just have fun. For me, everything has to be a certain way. Why am I like this even in my friendships? Being like this will cause me to not have many friends. It's not like this with all my friends. There are only a few people who I feel at ease with and don't feel like I have to compare myself to them or feel jealous. Thank God for those people in my life.

Sometimes, I even feel insecure around family and/or friends who have children. I feel like I can't relate to what they are saying, how would I know, I don't have children. I feel like I have nothing in common with them. When you have children they are your life, they are all people talk about and if you have a conversation with them, it's always about their children or their family, so I feel like I don't have any common ground. Now, please don't be offended if you have children, I'm just saying how it is from my childless perspective only.

Sometimes I feel like I should have a kid just so that I can be like everyone else. It's uncommon nowadays to be a young married couple and not have children, people almost find it incredulous if you don't have them, as if life is only about getting married and starting a family. It's also about living and dying and life lessons and finding out about yourself. It's so much more.

Although, I don't know why I am even saying this stuff because it's not like I am that social. Jesse and I are such homebodies these days. I hardly do any social activities at all, not like I did in college when I had bible study and Salt and church and sports. So, if I'm not very social then why are these very social issues of friends and family such an issue for me? I guess because I find myself in these types of situation every now and again.

I think what got the ball rolling for me about this is my friend that drove all the way from Beaverton Oregon to come and see me and our house yesterday. She brought her children and she is one of those friends I mentioned above that I feel like I can be myself and totally at ease with and not insecure in any way. And I thought about how nice it felt to be around her and feel relaxed and not feel like I'm at a loss for words or find myself struggling what to say or do or think. I can just be me. It's a feeling that has stayed with me.

So, this is my rambling for the day, maybe even for the rest of the week. I hope I didn't offend any of my family that I know have children, my sis and cousins. It is just how I feel at the moment. It doesn't mean I dislike children, it just means I don't have any and that comes with a price as well.

Jesse and I went to his parents place on Thursday. We played some games and it was so much fun because the games we played were so close, one was a tie breaker and the other one was a board game where we were all almost at the end, so anyone could have won at any moment. I went to see Marley & Me, it was so sad at the end but I must say the book is a lot better because it's more detailed. Obviously they could only fit so much into the movie without making it really long. We came back home on Saturday.

Today some friends of ours are coming to visit us so we did a thorough cleaning and I'm making appetizers (the only thing I'm really good at making). It's nice to have company though because we rarely do. :)

Hope everyone's New Years was awesome.